Hanging on to old things

Does anyone else hang on to things that you KNOW you won’t ever use or need again? Why? Why do we do this?

I was cleaning out some drawers & things, and came across 3 old lap swimsuits and a few more old suits (from like, 15 years ago) that I was keeping as “back up” suits. Back up to what exactly?? A bathing suit emergency? These lap suits were stretched out beyond what I could wear, and the others were not the right size. ¬†They were very thin, almost see through. And one of them had bra cups that had accidentally gone through the dryer so they were bumpy & clumpy & just not fit to be worn anywhere. Ever. Like, ever. Not even in a swimming emergency.

But it made me think about why… Why am I keeping this? I think there’s a continuum of ideas that start on the “keep everything” side and move toward the “get rid of everything!” side. I’m usually on the get-rid-of-it side, but for some reason I want to keep these old suits. Maybe because they are tied to memories of when I was in my 20s (not the greatest part of my life, why do I want to hang on to that??). Maybe because I’ll lose a few pounds and get back in one. Maybe because it just feels weird throwing away something that at one point had meaning, but now is junk. That transition from good to bad is powerful, even with something like a swimsuit.

let go

And I even found a pair of shoes that were – at one time – fantastic! They were Dansko clogs. After some intense foot pain years ago, these were the only shoes that I could wear. I’ve had them forever but the soles literally have holes the size of a quarter that you can see straight through. But they are still here. Why? I don’t know! I dooooon’t knooooooooow. Not sure why I have such a strong pull with some things that aren’t really doing anything for me right now.

Maybe this post will inspire someone to get rid of the crap. Take out the trash. Let go of the things that don’t serve you anymore. Whether it’s a shoe or a jerk in your life (home, work, whatever) or a version of yourself that you’re not too happy about….get rid of that mess. I’m throwing out those old suits AND shoes right now… I’ll dig deeper later, but it’s a start and good enough for right now.



Fighting and Finding the God of Balance


Found on G images….somewhere in cyberspace…

Is there a God of Balance? There are many mythological figures out there…the god of alcohol, the god of sun, the god of this, that……but is there a god of balance? I know there’s a god of justice – that’s not what I’m talking about.

BALANCE – the yin & the yang. Some ebb & flow that’s natural. Balancing work and life and kids and goals and marriage and food and exercise and laundry (omg laundry) and dirty bathrooms and appointments and all the things.

Have you ever done that team building activity where you’re all in a circle & pass around some yarn back & forth across the group? The idea is that if one person lets go it changes the dynamic completely. Some days it’s more tangible than others, but on the days when it’s all flowing in the right direction…man, that’s a good day right there!! And on those days where the scale of balance is tipped so heavily that you’re sure it’ll never find equilibrium again…those days suck.


I think balance is more important to some people than others. Some people seem to be all or nothing with everything: food, alcohol, exercise, whatever. It’s taken to the extreme. I’m not one of those people. But I do really enjoy the sweet spot in all those things – and definitely in tri training.

So, to all of you 5 readers who can resonate with finding some balance, fighting the lack of balance, and striving to keep some balance….cheers to you! And good luck. It’s hard to do.

May is BIKE MONTH…so…

…of course I had to buy a bike! Or two.

Yesterday I bought my first mountain bike. It’s beautiful and I still need to name her. It’s a SHE, definitely. Not a HE like my road bike Norman. I’m thinking about Zena – like the warrior princess. (I know it’s spelled with an X, but I am tweaking it.)



I was excited to buy it for a lot of reasons. What I was riding was torn up, so old, crappy like an old Schwinn, and now that the kids like riding I need to be able to keep up with them. That’s true, but what is also true is that my professional life is pretty fractured lately and I needed something that I could have some autonomy and creativity over. It seems that the only place I can find that these days is related to water, tires, or running shoes. I was excited to get this bike but I was even more excited and emotional to get this one…

ethan new bike

Ethan’s first real mountain bike!

I got my oldest his first mountain bike with gears!! He’s struggled a lot with social cues and expectations, but he’s very natural on a bike. Put him on a trail, a literal and physical dirt trail in the woods, and he can go forever! It’s easy for him, it’s natural, and he’s excited to ride trails with his dad. There’s something powerful in bike riding – the freedom, the skills, being in nature, all of it. I’m hopeful this bike (and future ones) will take him to really cool places – both literal and emotional. Good job my little friend!

ethan riding may 2017

First trail ride on the new bike – 5-20-17