In my mind, I close my eyes and I see dog heaven. I see all the good dogs who have come and gone….the sick dogs aren’t sick anymore. The old dogs are young again. The broken dogs are whole. The abused dogs are loved. They are all friends in a dog utopia land with lakes and hiking trails, warm beds for all, tons of bacon, restaurants serving burgers and biscuits, and automatic ball/pinecone/stick throwing devices that never stop. It’s a beautiful place with perfect weather all the time. All dogs in dog heaven behave & love each other in their own way.
I guess she has fulfilled her purpose with us and it’s time for her to transition to move on. Her purpose in our family has been to teach our young boys how to treat animals. How to interact with a big dog. To respect dogs. To take care of them with food and water and exercise and biscuits. Lots of biscuits. How to snuggle. To understand nonverbal communication. To know the power of touch. To understand that nothing lasts forever.
I started writing this at one pm, November 7th. In 2 hours we will be saying bye to our 15 year old dog Tina…also known as Tina Turner. I’ve cried for the past 3 days. We know it’s time. We cooked her chicken & bacon today. She loved it.
As painful as this is, I know that there are dogs that I can’t see right now that will be in my life in the future. And I’ll do this again. And again. And again.
Today is the next day…Nov 8th at lunchtime. She’s gone but her water dish, food bowl, food mat, bed, and collar are still here. The kids don’t really seem to care. Maybe it’s not real to them or maybe they just were never attached like we were. Maybe one day they will remember her and her lessons. I cried most of the day yesterday. Woke up at 4:30 crying, next to our other dog Frank. Have tried to occupy my time today with lots of things. One day it won’t feel as awful and I’ll have great memories. Right now I miss her so deeply. It’s like a stab to my heart that never stops dripping. One day it will close up and heal. And I’ll stop crying.
I really hope dog heaven is amazing.