Dreams – Therapy – Chemo

I’ve really tried to keep this blog about triathlon, but I need to veer to the side a little bit.

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In a very short amount of time we found out that my 12 year old nephew, who should be starting 7th grade this week, is starting chemo today to battle Hodgkin’s Lymphoma…

Cancer. In an innocent kid. Out of nowhere.

He’s officially at UNC for treatment as of yesterday (7-10-17). As of an hour ago, he started his first round of IV meds. I know almost nothing about cancer; my family is loaded with cardio stuff, but not cancer. I realize that anyone can get cancer. Some people bring it on their self with their choices. And some are just dealt a crappy hand with the roll of the genetic dice.

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Have you ever woken up from a bad dream with confusion? Crying because it seemed so real and so devastating? I did that this morning at 5am. My dream was that the situation was much worse than what we know right now – I won’t spell out the details, but it was awful enough to wake up crying and awful enough to still be feeling its effects at 3pm. My early swim sucked. I was really distracted & couldn’t get my head in the game. So today I rode 16 miles by myself, in very hot weather, to see the sunflower field. In Raleigh there’s an area they use alongside the greenway as a bit of a summer attraction. It’s not a super long or super challenging ride, but it was a small dose of therapy. I sweat out some ugly demons today. I’m hoping my nephew can do the same in chemotherapy.

I’m usually pretty good at finding the meaning in things – one door closes, another opens. I can look back & see how things are connected. I try to find the silver lining. But I’m really struggling to find the meaning in this – in any sense. So far, the only good thing I’ve found is the generosity of many people who want to help in some capacity…food, gift cards, childcare, help in some way. In this awful, disgusting, and hate-filled political season, even finding something as normal & expected as people taking care of each other is rare. It’s a heavy day for our family, but I know he will fight his ass off to get through this.

 

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