As enthusiastic as I can be about things, it’s easy to let stuff get under your skin. I made an unofficial commitment to myself to get a wetsuit by the end of January….tic tic tic tic tic tic tic…. It’s on my calendar to do it. But now that it’s getting closer it’s making that tiny word DOUBT get bigger & bigger. It’s not even the money at this point, but it’s what that purchase represents – it might be one of the biggest mental purchases I’ve ever made. I’m sure that once I buy it, I’ll feel relieved & it won’t be a big deal. But between now & then…ugh. Doubt.
Even though I’m up & down stairs 20x before I leave the house every morning, and even though I’m up & down the stairs 10x a day at work, and even though I work out most every day – those stairs are such a pain. And they are a source of doubt – some days I think how the hell can I do even one triathlon when I feel like I’m 500 pounds walking up these damn stairs!? Am I a complete lunatic to commit to 5 this year? Having young kids at home makes you use the stairs at least 100x more than you normally would every day. I need to remind myself that climbing the stairs actually is SOOO different than swimming, riding a bike, or even running. I don’t really like all you fast, bouncy stair climbers right now. Again, there’s that doubt creeping in…
Doubt is a funny little thing. You need to squash it like wac-a-mole knowing it’ll come back up….and then you squash it again. And again….and again. This is actually one of my favorite games I play, other than air hockey. I hadn’t thought about it as representing doubt (or other negative things in life) until now, but it’s a pretty good comparison.
Wac! I had a good swim yesterday.
Wac! Back on the bike tonight.
Wac! In the gym at 5:30am tomorrow.
Take that, stupid stairs! =)