What have I done?

You know that movie, Jerry Maguire? You know that part where he puts the “memo” in all the employees’ mailboxes and then when it’s too late he hears the BOOM in his head – whatdidido? whatdidido? whatdidido? It’s too late! I can’t go back in time! 

On Friday the lovely people at Outer Banks Sporting Events sent out a Black Friday/Cyber Monday code to save on any of their events for 2016. It didn’t say how much the code was or how much the events were, but I thought, great! This is the universe saying – go ahead, do this! And so I went to the site, clicked on Register………….and then X’d out of the site. I did this probably 4x through the weekend. No joke. I literally had a sick, nervous feeling every time I tried to sign up.

So I decided to ignore this whole thing & do some swimming, biking, and running this weekend. I did the Swim Bike Mom Virtual 5K on Friday, did 25 miles with the husband on Saturday, and tried out my new suit thanks to Tri Life (triathlon store in North Raleigh).

I’m sure anyone reading this can understand the push/pull internal struggle of doing something that’s big in your life, regardless of what it is. Should I do this? Can I do this? Is it really that big of a deal? Am I making it a monster when it’s really a puppy? Will it kill me? Is it worth it? Should I be doing something different? Will I regret not doing it? Is this ridiculous?

Am I worth it? 

I think that’s the question I was really addressing. It’s easy to get caught up in how you think life is supposed to go, what you’re supposed to do, how parenting is supposed to be, what work is supposed to do for you. But it’s hard to make yourself a priority. Whether you have a cheering section in your life or not, sometimes you just have to do things for yourself – nobody else really needs to understand.

Am I worth the time, energy, money, and commitment that it will take to do 5 of these triathlons in 2016 including THIS one. This one is different for me. I’ve always done the pool swims. This one has a swim 3x longer than any I’ve done AND it’s in the open water (sound side) in the Outer Banks. It’ll require a wet suit – which I don’t even own! This is a really big challenge for me. Even thought it’s considered a “sprint” the swim is the biggest difference and something that’s really scary to think about.

So, to answer the question – after multiple tries I did finally go through the registration process and sign up. It’s confirmed for September 18th, which will be a few days after my 43rd birthday.

I decided I’m worth it. And now I need to figure out how to make it happen!